Home > Equality, Same-Sex Marriage > An Open Letter To Our Oppressors

An Open Letter To Our Oppressors

i am a Christ-follower who has been through Reparative (Conversion) Therapy and ex-gay ministries, survived, AND lived to tell about the lies and atrocities thrown on normal, everyday people who happen to be attracted to the same sex rather than the opposite sex. We have been made out to be sex-crazed child molesters who are headed to hell. What kills me is that heterosexuals live together without being married, perform oral sex on one another, poke the butt, choose not to procreate or in some cases, cannot conceive, sleep around, etc. Yet, us queers are demonized because of who we love. It’s crazy BULLSHIT!

We are being accused of things that are not true and being kept from full inclusion as fellow human beings in this, in many ways, great nation, the UNITED STATES of AMERICA. WE ARE BEING OPPRESSED AND WE WON’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! i could relate to the letter i posted below in so many ways. It is a sad day when we live in one of the greatest and most ‘free’ nations in the entire world and the LGBTQ community does not have full inclusion in our society. i read recently that, “Now Cuba’s parliament is studying proposals to legalize same-sex unions and give gay couples the benefits that people in traditional marriages enjoy.” So, even COMMUNIST CUBA is considering same-sex marriage for gays thanks to Raul Castro’s daughter, Mariela Castro, who is spearheading an anti-homophobia drive inside Cuba! Spain, a HUGE Catholic population, has same-sex marriage. Canada has same-sex marriage. The Netherlands has same-sex marriage. South Africa has same-sex marriage. Belgium has same sex marriage. Norway has same-sex marriage. EVEN Nepal has same-sex marriage. The UK has Civil Partnerships, which gives rights  and responsibilities to same sex couples that are IDENTICAL to civil marriages. The USA DOES NOT HAVE same-sex marriage federally, YET! This is very sad to me.

Peterson Toscano brilliantly and poignantly addresses our Oppressors:

An Open Letter to Our Oppressors

In light of the passage of Proposition 8 with the denial and removal of rights for gay and lesbian couples, and the other anti-gay ballot measures recently passed, the inclusion of Rick Warren in the upcoming US presidential inauguration festivities, and recent anti-gay comments by the Pope (along with may many other previous anti-gay statements), I wish to write an open letter to my oppressors, many of them fellow Christians.

Dear Oppressors,

Yes, I hear you. I am not deaf to your messages. To the Holy Father in Rome, Reverend Rick Warren in California, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints,  the many supporters of Prop 8, Focus on the Family, Exodus International, and so many others who publicly speak out against LGBT people and our rights, I hear you loud and clear. No matter how you sugarcoat it and wrap it up with smiles and scripture and say that you are nothing like the extremist, Fred Phelps, I hear your message loud and clear telling me that I am inferior and unwanted in your world. These are not your words, but all the same this is the message you communicate.

I hear you insist time and time again in multiple ways that heterosexuals are superior to gays and lesbians. Your marriages, your homes, your “lifestyles” are normal, but mine? Not so much. I hear you declare that I am not capable of producing anything good or beneficial other than some window treatments or a decent hair style. In essence I hear you say that I am a worthless piece of shit and the cause of untold woes and problems, the harbinger of even worst things to come.

Some of your best friends may be gay, and you may profess that you really love the homosexual, but all the while your words and aggressively anti-gay activism consistently serve to dehumanize me–to present me and my kind as oversexed, deformed animals.

You remain steadfast in your opposition to the full inclusion of LGBT people in the life of the church. You oppose, limit and even remove rights in order to keep us unequal and legally inferior. You spend exorbitant amounts of money and time telling lies about us while expending so little energy actually getting to know us. You deal with theories, not reality. And  you are wrong, dead wrong.

You treat us as an inconvenient and unwanted Christmas gift that you desperately wish to exchange for something better. You belittle our love, our families, our faith, our morals, our very lives while all the time you claim to speak the truth in love. This is not love. This is fear. It is control and oppression, and it is the rejection of God’s gifts to the church, society and in some cases to your very families.

I know all about rejecting this gift. I did it for years as I repented daily of the same-sex attractions and gender differences I found inside me. I demonized my sexuality and believed no good could come of my gay orientation. I proceeded to return this gift as I bullied God for something else–I coveted my straight neighbor’s life believing the propaganda that his was the idealized norm to follow instead of trusting God for the life I had been given.

Read the rest here.

  1. January 27, 2009 at 8:21 PM | #1

    Prophetic and needed. Thank you.

  2. GrimeTime
    January 27, 2009 at 9:22 PM | #2

    Welcome to the sex-crazed child molester group! You wanted inclusion, now you have it. Try being a straight white 30’s guy watching his own kids play on the playground in the park sometime. Ha! Moms literally pull their kids in, and glare at me the whole time I’m there. It’s amusing and annoying at the same time.

    I am truly interested in the answers to the following, because I am not gay, and do not understand fully:

    Who says these things to you specifically and when (what’s the context)? Is it more of a perception or do people approach you at church and say these things? If so, I would suggest that they have much more to learn about sharing God’s love.

    What rights exactly do you not have? Again, I’m not trying to pick a fight, I’m trying to understand… as I understand, gays have rights to shared property, shared insurance, wills, medical decisions for each other? Or am I incorrect? What specifically is lacking?

    And please don’t qualify a value-add for our country by quantifying other countries who follow that idea. I can name a dozen countries without the First Amendment’s protection of Freedom Of Speech, but I sure as heck don’t want THAT for us! :) Gramps always said, “If your friends all jumped off a cliff, would you do it too?” Ha!

  3. January 27, 2009 at 9:34 PM | #3

    GrimeTime,

    Thanks for your questions. People do exist who do say these things to folks in the LGBTQ community. It may not be your personal experience but it does happen. The context can be any from people coming up and saying these things to individuals to churches stating on their websites that ‘unrepentant’ gays cannot join the church.

    You said, ‘as I understand, gays have rights to shared property, shared insurance, wills, medical decisions for each other? Or am I incorrect? What specifically is lacking?’ A LOT! There are over 1100 federal rights heterosexual couples who are married have. Civil unions are NOT in every state, and those states that allow them vary in what they cover. Gays, in order to have medical power of attorney and other legalities must pay attorneys to file the paperwork and them because of DOMA (Defense Of Marriage Act), every state does not have to recognize the paperwork. Here’s a post on Why Equality Matters: http://www.existentialpunk.com/existential_punk/2009/01/why-equality-matters.html

    i disagree with you when you said, “And please don’t qualify a value-add for our country by quantifying other countries who follow that idea…” i merely point them out because the USA is supposed to be the leader of the free world and progressive, when in fact it is far from progressive!

    Thanks again!

    Warm Regards,

    Adele

  4. GrimeTime
    January 27, 2009 at 10:09 PM | #4

    (somewhat out of order from the previous post..) RIGHTS: I wasn’t aware that it was that difficult to have these basic rights. It should be easier and more consistent across states, I would agree. I would personally prefer some “civil agreement” or something… for instance, there was a brother-sister elderly couple who lived across from me growing up. I would hope and expect that they (who share the house, work, income, expenses) could enjoy this same set of standards. Making it gay-specific would perhaps be not the right choice either. It should be something you have to file for though. Otherwise, every frat house across the country will suddenly have 12 guys riding on someone’s insurance policy as his partner! :)

    PEOPLE: As I mentioned previously, those folks should worry more about themselves and sharing God’s love than what you do on your own time. There’s no excuse for bigotry (left/right; black/white; whatever) given the times we live in.

    CHURCH: Well, this could be a topic all on its own! We practice birth control which my church frowns upon. If we were asked to not attend, well, I guess that would be that. We’d find somewhere where our views were more accepted. Would I be disappointed? Yes. Upset? Yes. But there are rules for being in the club. I personally wouldn’t be exclusive that way, as I don’t think that is what God would want of us, but it can be the prerogative of a church I suppose.

    USA: Another one of those topics of its own! Ha! The United States is supposed to simply follow the Constitution set forward by our forefathers. Somehow our elected officials have decided to ignore this, and we the people have let them! :( *sigh* But I digress. I love our country, and with its flaws it is still would not want to live anywhere else! We need to keep trying to make it work for all of us. I wish you luck in leveraging our great Republic to help you in your goals.

    Just as a side comment, I would suggest that more articles such as the one you linked to me above giving positive position and factual problems and possible resolutions would help to garner more support from the middle, and could help to sway your opinion in your favor!

    Thanks for the quick reply! More information is always good!

  5. January 27, 2009 at 10:40 PM | #5

    GrimeTime,

    Thanks for your suggestion and i agree that “more articles such as the one you linked to me above giving positive position and factual problems and possible resolutions would help to garner more support from the middle, and could help to sway your opinion in your favor!”

    Warm Regards,

    Adele

  6. January 28, 2009 at 6:55 AM | #6

    Here’s the PROBLEM America is creating as it ALLOWS the tyranny of a majority to rule – One of these days, some LGBT person who has lost a child, home, spouse, pension, and/or job to federal inequality will put a bullet through the heads of people like Huckabee, Warren, etc., and others who are obsessed with influencing “civil” law so it PERMANENTLY EXCLUDES our families from the same governmental protections ALL Americans deem essential (would the protections exist if they weren’t essential…..for the heterosexuals?).

    ALL of the above horrors HAVE ALREADY HAPPENED to many families and their CHILDREN due to marriage inequality alone.

    Why isn’t this HATE against our family seen as the VIOLENCE that it really is?
    [equality tax revolt]

  7. January 29, 2009 at 11:46 AM | #7

    Hey, I saw your post over on my pastor’s blog (nakedpastor) and wanted to come and say hey. I’m headed to work but will be back tonight to read your blog in more detail. Thank you for your comment and for speaking truth amongst the hatred and judgment people were saying.

    I too am a lover and follower of Christ who just happens to also be a lesbian.

  8. January 29, 2009 at 5:14 PM | #8

    Joni,

    Welcome and thanks for stopping by the blog and commenting. The thing is,those people do not think they are being hurtful but rather, loving. It is so messed up. i do not want to engage them in circular arguments but i had to express my feelings. They forget we are human beings with real feelings and emotions. So sad to me. The thing is, they tell me i am living in sin but i am married to my partner. Shouldn’t they be happy for me? LOL!!!!

    Warm Regards,

    Adele

  9. January 29, 2009 at 10:25 PM | #9

    Hi Adele,

    I appreciate you coming to my blog and sharing your thoughts with us on these issues. I have responded to your latest comments, and I hope to hear back from you again. Any readers are more than welcome to join us in the conversation, and I eagerly anticipate chatting more.

    Love in Christ,
    Aaron

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